At dinner, Kona ate all the chili and only a little of the mango cobbler, even though he loved it. He knew he’d need it later.

“Kona, shower then bed,” called Mom.

Kona looked up from his computer. “Just a minute. I need—”

“Now, Kona. And hang up your towel this time. I’m not your maid, you know.”

Kona hit ctrl-S and powered down the computer. Arguing was useless. There were too many things adults didn’t get. 

In the bathroom, he ran water in the sink, wet his toothbrush, and added some toothpaste before rinsing it all down the drain. He turned on the shower and sat on the toilet lid, counting slowly to 100 hippopotamuses.

At 101, he carefully leaned into the shower, wetting only his hands, working his wash cloth into a lather and squirting shampoo down the drain before turning the water off.

Taking his wet hands, he ran them quickly through his bangs and behind his ears, brushing his thick brown hair away from his face. The built-up grease helped; his hair looked wet, at least from a distance.

Kona put on clean boxers and loose fitting shorts, ran his towel around the shower stall to dampen it, and dumped it on the floor for his mother to find.

“Mom, what’s for dinner?”

“Teriyaki steak with rice, steamed veggies.”

“Teriyaki steak! Tonight?”

“You’re complaining? You always beg me to make teriyaki steak. Tonight I made it extra sweet and gingery just for you!”

“I like it; I just… not tonight.”

“Too bad. It’s already defrosted and soaking.”

Kona looked at the thinly sliced beef swimming in sugary soy sauce, thinking hard. He tried again.

“But Mom, what about Dad? My teacher said that eating red meat is junk.”

“Robert Konahele, steak is not junk!”

“Not junk like junk food, Mom. I mean like the food pyramid. My teacher said people, people like you and Dad, need to watch what you eat. More fish and chicken.”

Mom paused her chopping, knife held aloft. “People like me and Dad?”

Sensing an advantage, Kona pressed his luck. “Yeah, you know. Older, rounder folks, the kind of people that need to stay away from beef and salt so your heart doesn’t explode. Maybe we can give the steak to the Nakamuras. Trade it for fermented tofu and kim chee. We can make a stir fry with lots of garlic. Easy and heart-healthy.”

Mom’s look curled his hair and chicken-skinned his arms. Too late he saw the smoke coming out of her ears as she grabbed a dish towel.

“Robert Konahele Inoye, you better engage your brain before you speak again or I guarantee you not going sit down for a week!”

He tried to scramble out of the way, moving like a cockroach when the kitchen lights come on.

“Sorry, Mom,” he mumbled, weaving from side to side as Mom snap, snap, snapped the dish towel at his feet. “Teriyaki steak sounds delicious. Never mind my teacher. I think she’s a vegetarian. Those guys are always a little crazy when it comes to meat. Too many mung beans and edamame for dinner.”

 “Eh, boy, you better show some respect for your teacher!”

Snap!

Mom turned to the sink and began wiping the spotless counter.

“But, hey, you’re worried about your heart, you don’t want to eat steak, your loss. You can eat the leftover chili, then. Lots of beans, no steak. Gotta be good  for your heart. But don’t blame me if no one wants to sit by you! Now stop futzing around and wash the rice. Your father’s coming home soon–unless he keels over in traffic from all this beef and salt!”